One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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