There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
