So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
