ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
