ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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