Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
