At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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