She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
