it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
