Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
vagina is talking i cant
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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