Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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