How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize