so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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