i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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