How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
