you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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