break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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