Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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