This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
