Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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