It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
