I am puke
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
