I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
