Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
