At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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