Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
