I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
