She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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