I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
