coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
