I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize