Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
