If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
