Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
