well you can't waste a boner
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
