I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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