He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
