wake up i wanna do it froggy style
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
