i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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