Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
