what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
