Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
