I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You pole danced in your parka.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
