i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
