I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
