It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
