He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
