So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
