white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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