i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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