you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
