my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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