well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
