It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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