And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
