She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
